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Sonnet #1

September 30, 2009
By deadSoundSystem BRONZE, Flower Mound, Texas
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deadSoundSystem BRONZE, Flower Mound, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

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Teen Ink rocks and should totally publish me and get me famous forever - Luke Baughman

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Sun cast glow upon the sea
And ride your heart thither to me.
Abandon fear as ocean's depths lay quiet
When heaven's golden lamp dips into night

Do not tremble as you feel waves thrash
And when you see boats of others crash
Kepp steady hand and make your pass
Know your vessel strong and love shall last

I shall orchestrate sunsets
Ribbons; orange and peach
Dive into my chest
This heart within your reach

From yearning moons our journy's start
Together we shall come to find
You have come to me to know my mind
And I, a bandit for your mind

To thee I promise skys read gold
Though our faces shall fade to old
A promise will not, from this tongue to thee
Waves to carry thy heart, eternally

Meet me here, upon the shore
Days together, and millions more

© Vanessa R., Marblehead, MA

The author's comments:
I wrote this piece for my girlfriend. I am in love with her and I wish for our lives to always include the heart of the other
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 8 comments.

ZJcancel BRONZE said...
on Dec. 21 2015 at 8:59 am
ZJcancel BRONZE, Catesville, Pennsylvania
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&#039;&#039;I will love you for forever and a day &#039;&#039;

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you are amazing i would love to read more
djh29 said...
on Oct. 17 2011 at 8:18 pm
djh29, Westmont, Illinois
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You have a lucky girlfriend :)
alohagirl7 GOLD said...
on Oct. 5 2011 at 4:17 pm
alohagirl7 GOLD, Klawock, Alaska
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geez, calm yourself eeverybody makes mistakes... and im pretty sure he did a great job, maybe its only his first time writing, you have to go through many different poems to learn the different types, and sonnets dont always follow the rules... a famous poet even said that as he begins writing  sonnet his mind wonders into something totaly different. I think it was a wonderful poem (: /sonnet
Gelind said...
on Mar. 21 2011 at 2:02 pm
While this is an interesting work and a good POEM. It is not infact a Sonnet. A Sonnet has 14 lines and is in one of two patters, ABAB CDCD EFEF GG or ABBA ABBA CDE CDE. It is also Iambic Pentameter, which means that it is U/U/U/U/U/. That is Unstressed then Stressed at ten syllables a line.
Dragonscribe BRONZE said...
on Sep. 29 2010 at 6:18 pm
Dragonscribe BRONZE, West Lafayette, Indiana
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I refuse to be critical of this poem even a little bit because you wrote this for your girlfriend - spelling really doesn't matter when it comes to love. Have you shown her this? It's excellent! Romantic! Also, I like "thither".
respecturself7 SILVER said...
on Mar. 8 2010 at 5:02 pm
respecturself7 SILVER, Medina, New York
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That was really beautiful. What an amazing poem.
GreenIvy BRONZE said...
on Dec. 19 2009 at 9:30 am
GreenIvy BRONZE, Queen Creek, Arizona
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I felt as though I could feel those feeling jumping out at me! That was amazing! Please check out some of my work and tell me what you think
jennee21_ann GOLD said...
on Oct. 21 2009 at 1:39 pm
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
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wow! :) what a beautiful piece :) i love it! every stanza i read, i became more involved into the poem, and i almost lost myself :D this is a great piece. check out some of my work if you could, i would love to hear what you have to say. and keep writing...this piece gets 5 STARS!! :)