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Dark Night
May 17, 2013
It was that dark night long ago,
when all creatures where about--
all singing in a loud shout!
while the wind rocked the bow--
and tumbled like balls in bingo,
and among the people came a great fear of doubt,
but now it is time to say lights out.
just like that time in Mexico.
I begun to worry--
and tried to stay calm--
but it was to late to tell my mother sorry;
cause I was about to be embalmed.
the air was full of furry--
as I became a memory.
© Steve S., Marblehead, MA
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This article has 26 comments.
Mr.packerbear12 SILVER said...
on Feb. 6 2014 at 11:21 pm
Thanks for the reply, and yes, that was bad on my part! I would've done something different, but at the time I had just started writing poetry and was having trouble coming up with another word to rhyme instead of that, but, poetry is always a wotk in progress:).
O.G.B said...
on Jan. 26 2014 at 5:26 pm
Interesting Poem. As authorgirl mentioned, the bingo balls kind of threw me off but nevertheless, the end of the poem captivated my attention again :)
directorchick419 GOLD said...
on Jan. 14 2014 at 5:29 pm
I felt that the bingo comparison threw me off but by the last stanza I was very intrigued. Good job.
GreekGoddess BRONZE said...
on Dec. 31 2013 at 4:20 pm
Hmm, interesting. There were a couple spelling mistakes but that's fixed easily. You might want to captilize the first letter of each line so that the reader has an easier time to read it. There were a couple places where you put in something that makes the reader yearn to know more ("just like that time in Mexico", "but it was too late to tell my mother sorry") and that distracts the reader a little bit. I really liked the last verse, very good and creative! This was good, great job!
IndigoElisabeth SILVER said...
on May. 22 2013 at 9:58 am
Great job! A few punctuation/spelling errors but overall, very creative sonnet!
