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Severing Bonds
I walked into the opening drowned in light by the moon, and there he was. Flawless as I'd ever seen. I walked toward him through the brush, and stood so close I could hear his heart beating. He was in loose white flowing clothes that were a masculine replica to my own white gown. When I was face to face with him I realised that his features held confusion. Then he broke the dead silence. "What are you doing here? What are we doing here?", but I knew in his heart somewhere, he understood. I replied, "You know what I'm doing here." And then I smiled, and remembered all the things about him that were keeping me near to him. I quickly reminded myself that these things weren't ever enough to equal happiness on either his part or mine before now, and nothing has changed.Then the braid materialized. A physical representation of our bond to each other. It was white silk, and intricately weaved through were midnight black, sun-gold, and green fibers. I understood that the black fibers were representing the lies, the broken promises, and everything that had hurt me. The gold fibers were representing the blinding light that I walked into when I met you. The green, well that color, it represented the beauty; the naturality of all that this was. After a few moments had passed, our gazes still holding each other he smiled back with understanding of why I had to do this; why we were in this opening so close together. When silence commenced once again, I looked from his eyes to the braid. He had grabbed hold of the silk, with an obvious yearning to keep it intact; to keep us intact. But I assured him with my stable state that my decision was unwavering. I felt so wretched for causing him any pain, but I couldn't let him destroy my resolution to be happy. I earnestly wrapped my arms around his waist, sorry that this is where everything had ended up between us. His arms mirrored mine and were tight around my back, warm and anxious. When I pulled back serenity masked his face, and I said, "I'll cut it in the middle of the braid, so we both leave with something more than what we had coming into this. So we are both better people because of this." He held the braid on either side, and I squeezed the handle of the silver shears, the blades coming together exactly in between his pinching thumbs and fingers, and then it was over. I dropped the shears to the ground, with a fleeting moment of regret and heartbreak, and he grabbed my empty hand. He knew that what I had done was a great act of kindness to both of us, even though the decision was difficult to make. He radiated gratitude for setting us both free, and my entirety flooded with contentness. This was a sacrafice that was necessary in order for us to move on happily. He quickly put both his hands on either sides of my face and kissed my forehead.
I clasped my hands on to his wrists, and held them tight, knowing this was our very last moment to ever touch. But I was reassured that everything would be okay when he whispered, "I really did love you." into my forehead, and my automatic response was, "At some point in time, we loved eachother." I let go of my grasp on his wrists, and he dropped
his arms to his sides. I suddenly realized standing before me was the person I had actually fell in love with, not the person I found him to be later on. No deceit, no lies, no past. Inevitably I smiled; "I missed you with such intensity, words could never explain it. But you know this is the right thing to do. This is goodbye."
"I know," he said, "I just wish that we could've played out differently."
Tears almost fell with the thought of how I would keep missing him until I was healed from this barely-bearable pain, only ever onset from heart rendering Goodbyes.
"This was the way it was always going to turn out, no matter how many different turns we took. This was our only destiny..."
With that I walked away with the knowledge that there was no other way for us to be. And that besides the pain, this was a beautiful thing.
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