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Killer
Summary:
There is a girl named Annabelle. She has long wild red hair always in a braid, catlike green eyes, tan, tall. Annabelle works as an assassin her main weapon her long braid that has a knife hidden in it. With one whip of her hair could kill someone she worked in a little unknown place called Devils Grove. She was the most dangerous and beautiful girl in all of Devil Grove. Annabelle was feared by almost everyone in her village excepted her sister Carolina with smooth blonde hair, calm blue eyes, short, skinny and her best friend Daniel with Dark deep Brown eyes, light brown hair, tall, muscular. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it she felt a strong connection to Daniel. Annabelle must decide between Daniel and running away from the king and Queen of Devils Grove.
Taylor J.
Killer
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This book has 4 comments.
Okay, I have a bit of criticism. You know my feelings about your grammar, so I'll just criticize your style.
1. Work on your dialogue a bit. It's better than some of the stuff on here, but I think it could be even better if you read it aloud to yourself and correct accordingly.
2. Dialogue usually goes on a separate line, especially when there's a new speaker.
3. A little more description would be nice. I really want to know more about what's going on!
4. You might want to explain more about your characters. They kind of seem random people, which makes the reader ask, 'Why should I care about these people?' I think a little more description would help this.
Your writing has a lot of potential, so keep working at it!
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Favorite Quote:
When in doubt... Blame it on your siblings <br /> when life gives you skittles throw them at random people and yell FEEL THE RAINBOW