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My Halo
This halo weighs me down,
Heavy gold and silver
More priceless than a crown,
But so much more restrictful.
These wings of mine don't listen;
Never agreeing on the way
Although their gleaming white feathers glisten
Inside they're black and gray.
This song I sing is bright
With soothing words and voices,
But why isn't the melody right
Full of sad and mournful verses?
This heart of mine isn't light,
Blithe and twirling like butterflies
But heavy, longingly contrite
A vault of broken lies.
The rain will wash it clean
But my eyes are dry as deserts,
While sitting here in between
Torn against my desire and my service.
It hurts,
Those thorn-embedded glances of you
Jabbing me deeper with each sigh,
The anger so untrue
As I watch you from the sky
I won't lie--not anymore.
The stifling clouds have left
The sun striking my fixed core
The acceptance releasing my breath
The wall crumpling while the bindings break,
Everything just slipping away
Giving into that unstoppable ache
So I'll finally be able to touch your face.
I'll let myself peek over the clouds
The air humming, encouraging me
Not really allowed
But I want to be free
Even if the heavens weep,
I don't want to forget it all
My imperfect self will be mine to keep
Even if the earth and sky shunn me, appalled;
I want to fall